If you take away a privilege that your child doesn't really care about, it won't be an effective negative consequence. Pick something that is really going to impact your child, but not in a punitive way. Sometimes the loss of privilege can be a logical consequence.... read more ›
Stop Stacking Consequences
James Lehman in The Total Transformation® Program tells us that you can't punish a kid into better behavior. So while it's certainly tempting, taking everything away from your child is unlikely to be effective in changing behavior.... read more ›
When you take away a toy for bad behaviour, your child may not learn from their mistakes as they could simply just fixate on the loss of their possession instead of reflecting on their actions.... view details ›
As a reactive form of punishment, taking away privileges seems random and fails to establish the connection between a behavior and a consequence," Fox notes. "When set up in advance, it gives the child a choice — if they don't make their bed, they are choosing to not be allowed to play with their LEGOs.... see more ›
Ellen Perkins wrote: "Without doubt, the number one most psychologically damaging thing you can say to a child is 'I don't love you' or 'you were a mistake'.... read more ›
- Losing privileges.
- Ignoring mild misbehavior.
- Teaching new skills.
- Logical consequences.
- Natural consequences.
- Rewards for good behavior.
- Praise for good behavior.
Natural Consequences: Natural consequences are the best form of positive punishment because they teach your children about life. Natural consequences do not require any action from the parent. Instead, these are consequences that occur naturally as the result of bad behavior.... view details ›
It is cruel and mean-spirited. Children form strong attachments to certain toys and throwing one away could be deeply hurtful and damaging.... read more ›
People being punished might never correct their actions due to the guilt and shame they face. Punishment could make an individual immune towards the concept of 'apology and correctiveness'. Therefore, when people genuinely apologise for their wrongdoings and feel repentant, the best course of action is to forgive them.... see more ›
Negative punishment is the opposite of positive punishment. It's when you take something away from the child until the unwanted behavior changes. An easy example of negative punishment is taking away some sort of toy from the child if they are not staying on task or performing the preferred behavior.... continue reading ›
Researchers found that when the toddlers were in the room with fewer toys, they were actively engaged for a longer period of time. Because there were less toys to choose from, the children used their creative instincts and explored different ways to use the same toy, further developing their cognitive skills.... continue reading ›
But if something is being removed in order to avoid unwanted behavior, then it is an example of negative reinforcement. In addition, punishment tries to make the unwanted behavior stop whereas negative reinforcement tries to make the wanted behavior more likely to occur.... see details ›
The Do's of Disciplining a Child Who Won't Listen
Use consistent, logical consequences. Kids need to know what to expect when they don't listen. Listen to your child's feelings and ask them kindly rather than in anger what's going on. Acknowledge their side, and you can still follow through with a consequence.... see details ›
Humans are the same in this way: studies show consistently that children who are punished only stop the behavior when parents are around and they get progressively more skillful at not getting caught. If parents use physical punishment, the results are even worse.... read more ›
Research also shows that positive punishment does not always weaken a person's behavior when punished, it may simply suppress it. If a child fears being punished, they may continue to engage in the bad behavior while they are away from the parent(s) who punishes them.... read more ›
Mothers were the number one perpetrators of child maltreatment, followed by fathers, mother and father, and mother and nonparent(s).... view details ›
It can make them behave badly or get physically sick. Children react to angry, stressed parents by not being able to concentrate, finding it hard to play with other children, becoming quiet and fearful or rude and aggressive, or developing sleeping problems.... view details ›
It's been shown to have long-term effects, like anxiety, low self-esteem, and increased aggression. It also makes children more susceptible to bullying since their understanding of healthy boundaries and self-respect are skewed.... continue reading ›
Generally speaking, you can't effectively discipline a child until they're at least 2 years old — about the same time your toddler-age kid is ready for potty training. “If they're ready for potty training, they're ready for consequences,” Pearlman says.... read more ›
Positive punishment is when you add a consequence to unwanted behavior. You do this to make it less appealing. An example of positive punishment is adding more chores to the list when your child neglects their responsibilities.... continue reading ›
- Ignore Mild Misbehavior. ...
- Allow Natural Consequences. ...
- Provide Logical Consequences. ...
- Assign Extra Chores. ...
- Opportunities for Restitution. ...
- Restricting Privileges. ...
- Types of Privileges to Restrict. ...
- Explain Restriction Limits.
Threatening to take away your teen's phone may seem like a great way to get them to do something. But it's usually not a good choice as a punishment. When you take away their phone, you're turning off the television, banning games, taking away their ability to talk with friends, and grounding them all at once.... continue reading ›
- be overly-affectionate to strangers or people they don't know well.
- seem unconfident, wary or anxious.
- not have a close relationship or bond with their parent.
- be aggressive or cruel towards other children or animals.
Sell toys in good condition on neighborhood Facebook groups, the Nextdoor app or Once Upon a Child. Go through your playroom quarterly and make toy donation a regular part of your family's life. Store away any toys that have sentimental value, but don't feel guilty about tossing or donating others.... continue reading ›
A common observation, though, is that older people (in their 70s and 80s) are much more forgiving than young and middle-aged adults. Why is this? There are a number of factors that influence forgiveness that come together to make older adults more forgiving than younger ones.... see details ›
Psychological punishment can include ignoring, yelling, intimidating, or nagging someone to do or not do something. Other forms of psychological punishment that can be traumatic include physical and verbal abuse, swearing, and violent anger.... see details ›
The three types of forgiveness are: exoneration, forbearance and release. Let's take each in turn. Exoneration is the closest to what we usually think of when we say “forgiveness”.... see details ›
Remember that reinforcement, even when it is negative, always increases a behavior. In contrast, punishment always decreases a behavior. In positive punishment, you add an undesirable stimulus to decrease a behavior. An example of positive punishment is scolding a student to get the student to stop texting in class.... read more ›
Purposely ignoring kids can make them feel abandoned, rejected and alone, which is the exact opposite of how they want to be treated in their young years. This may also make them feel ostracized and unwanted.... continue reading ›
A new study from the folks at Let's Play reveals that once kids hit age 9, they stop playing as often.... continue reading ›
Since having five or more kids is generally the cutoff point for being considered a “large” family, here are all the ways your parenting will change once you hit that pivotal plus-five milestone.... see more ›
As indicated, almost 70% of children will probably require no more than 15 toys to play with. This is contrary to the 20-toy-rule which suggests a higher number of toys for kids. The majority of kids in the US play with only 10 toys or fewer out of all their collection.... read more ›
In psychology, punishment is always effective in changing behavior, even when children don't feel punished. Not only is it possible for children's behavior to be punished without punishing children, it is possible for their behavior to be punished while at the same time being nice to them.... see details ›
Benefits of Positive Reinforcement
It's also much easier to encourage behaviors than to discourage them, making reinforcement a more powerful tool than punishment in most cases. Perhaps most important, positive reinforcement can simply be more effective, especially in the long-term.... view details ›
Another way parents unintentionally reinforce negative behavior is by giving in. If a parent tells a child they can't go outside, but then the child begs and pleads until the parent gives in, the child's whining has been positively reinforced.... continue reading ›
- Do not become angry. ...
- Make sure everyone is safe. ...
- Do not punish. ...
- Acknowledge your child's anger. ...
- Ask questions to understand the source of anger. ...
- Offer help. ...
- Teach emotional regulation skills. ...
- Teach how to express objections respectfully.
- Try to slow your breathing. Breathe in for two seconds and breathe out for four seconds. Do this a few times until your heart rate slows down.
- If your child is being very loud, try blocking your ears or putting on noise-cancelling headphones for a moment. Then take a few deep, slow breaths.
The feeling of annoyance or anger at your child is a signal to stop. Drop everything else you're doing, take a deep breath and count to 10. It also helps to repeat a mantra like “Everything will be ok” or “He's acting like a child because he's a child.” Keep breathing slowly until you feel some calm flow through you.... see details ›
Don't Make the Grounding Too Long
Grounding for a week, or two or three weekends is probably sufficient to get the message across without losing it over time. A month may be too long. As the parent of a teen, a shorter time gives you a lesser chance of caving in and reducing the grounding period later.... see details ›
The effectiveness of punishment depends on several factors: Frequency of punishment, immediacy of punishment, and positive reinforcement on positive or good behavior. However punishment may also have serious negative effects if not carried out properly.... see more ›
- PUNISHMENT OFTEN FAILS TO STOP, AND CAN EVEN INCREASE THE OCCURRENCE OF, ...
- PUNISHMENT AROUSES STRONG EMOTIONAL RESPONSES THAT MAY GENERALIZE. ...
- USING PUNISHMENT MODELS AGGRESSION. ...
- INTERNAL CONTROL OF BEHAVIOR IS NOT LEARNED. ...
- PUNISHMENT CAN EASILY BECOME ABUSE. ...
- PAIN IS STRONGLY ASSOCIATED WITH AGGRESSION.
- Use positive feedback to strengthen the opposite behavior. Examples: If you want to reduce the amount of arguing between two children, call attention to the time when they are not arguing. ...
- Use extinction to eliminate any rewards for misbehavior. Examples: ...
- Use punishment. Examples:
- Yell at or belittle your child.
- Discipline while angry.
- Be inconsistent, enforcing only at times.
- Deliver a long, detailed explanation.
- Focus only on what was wrong rather than how to correct the behavior.
- Think of discipline as punishing poor behavior.
- Break the rules you hold your kids to.
- Give choices. A choice gives some control back to the child on the parents' terms. ...
- Take a timeout. ...
- Get someone else involved. ...
- Teach them what you expect. ...
- Recognize their positive behaviors. ...
- Timeout. ...
- Consequence. ...
- Pick your battles.
Positive punishment is when you add a consequence to unwanted behavior. You do this to make it less appealing. An example of positive punishment is adding more chores to the list when your child neglects their responsibilities.... read more ›
Additionally, the silent treatment also hurts vulnerable people such as kids. It is a form of temporary abandonment, where children may not feel supported and/or loved. Experts also believe it is also a manipulation tool, which compels the child to change or improve, even if they're not ready for it.... see details ›
- Low self-esteem.
- Difficulty regulating emotions.
- Inability to ask for or accept help or support from others.
- Heightened sensitivity to rejection.
- Lack of language for describing feelings.
- Dissociative tendencies.
- Shame or guilt around emotions.
When you ignore your child, you do not neglect him or stand by while he misbehaves. Instead, you take all your attention away from your child and his behavior. Ignoring usually helps stop behaviors that your child is using to get your attention. This includes behaviors like throwing tantrums, whining, and interrupting.... see details ›
Hitting Children Leads to Trauma, Not Better Behavior — Developmental Science.... see more ›
Hitting a child with a belt or an extension cord can cause severe bruising, painful welts, and even lacerations. Hitting a child with a switch can open wounds in their skin that will bleed, and may lead to infection. Either way, as soon as an object is involved, the chance of lasting injuries becomes significant.... view details ›
Hugging increases the bonding hormone oxytocin, allowing the child to bond back together with the parent again after receiving the punishment. Hugs also help to reduce the stress that they encounter while receiving the punishment.... view details ›
Short-term effects are that children feel bad, they eventually learn to tune us out and as they model our behaviour of yelling, they in turn yell too and can show increased aggression. According to this study shared by BetterHelp, the long-term psychological effects of yelling at a child include: Increased Anxiety.... see details ›
The most powerful tool for effective discipline is attention—to reinforce good behaviors and discourage others. Remember, all children want their parent's attention. Catch them being good. Children need to know when they do something bad--and when they do something good.... continue reading ›
The three types of discipline are preventative, supportive, and corrective discipline. PREVENTATIVE discipline is about establishing expectations, guidelines, and classroom rules for behavior during the first days of lessons in order to proactively prevent disruptions.... view details ›
Below are several characteristics of effective punishment. The punishment involves a really aversive consequence (i.e., not associated with any reinforcer). The punishment is applied immediately after the target behavior. The punishment is followed by an explanation of why the punishment occurs.... read more ›
Not all positive punishment is created equal
Physical consequences in some homes might be abusive. Public shaming might lead to anxiety and stress. Children may become fearful of being reprimanded. Gwyn adds that kids' individual personalities can also impact how they respond to positive punishment.... see more ›